Complicated X4


That’s what my mother predicted. Yup. The Queen Mother had it right. Of course, she spoke from experience. She said a second child would complicate things, not x2, but x4. The laws of physics and logic do not apply here.

I thought she was exaggerating. You know mothers. We exaggerate to make a point… or maybe not. Confident and delusional, as any second mother usually is (at first), I ignored her. I wanted another one!

The second child is something completely unexpected, I think. See… you think you know everything about motherhood at this point. You’ve survived the first one. You’re ready (or not). “I got one already. It’s just more of the same. A little extra work.”  Ha ha! Yeah, but not quite.

No fights during a plane ride to Disney of course! Plenty of fights while there!

No fights during a plane ride to Disney of course! Plenty of fights while there!

That would be so if your children were completely isolated from each other and identical in personalities for the rest of their lives. They’re not! (Insert sarcastic smile here.)

Siblings spend more time with each other than they do with their parents. Have you ever seen toddlers playing? Sooner or later they get physical and tears ensue. When you have more than one kid, it’s not a play date. You’re not watching every move they make. Sooner or later a fight happens. (Envision a SIGH with closing eyes and really deep breath.)

“It’s not fair!” “That’s mine!” “Mom, tell him to stop.” “I hate my brother!” (This one makes me cry. Blah! I’m sure sooner or later I’ll get over this too, as it won’t be true forever and ever.) “ARRRRGGGHHHHH!”

“Eiiii!” (Whiney sound with a high pitch). “He took my toy!” “He won’t let me play!” “Mom, he’s singing caca songs about me!”

JUST BREATHE!

I wish it was that easy. The venting happens in all sorts of ways from calmly mitigating between the two, to locking myself in the bathroom for 20 minutes, to playing loud music and ignoring them. (I would love some suggestions!)

Eventually it passes. You find a way around the issue and it’s cool. Then, another one follows. More of the same, except it’s different. All the while you thought you could handle the second one just like the first and it turns out that’s not true. Second child won’t respond to time out. He laughs in your face when the other one rushed to do as told. One pukes the medicines while the other one swallows without complaint.

Does anyone relate?

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