Happy Mother’s Day!


Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and fairy godmothers who work hard everyday to make wishes come true for children. Yes, mothers are the very first fairy godmothers. They grant wishes on a daily basis. So today, go grant a wish for your mom! We’ll throw in a little extra fairy dust.

-Daedalus Shortglow, Chief Executive Wish Officer

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Yadier Molina Speaks to Adam Jones (Translated to English)


So apparently, after yesterday’s WBC game, Adam Jones made some comments about what motivated the US team to win. It almost seems like it was envy, or what we in PR call “estar moldío” because we had a big celebration planned for our team. Today, when our team arrived in Puerto Rico, Yadier Molina reacted to Adam’s comments (original video in Spanish). I’ve translated it so that Mr. Adams and the rest of the USA team may understand.

Transcript, Yadier Molina and interviewer:

Female Interviewer: “Yadi, we know there were some comments by Adam Jones. Adam Jones is your friend and mine. Since you know him, do you think that maybe they misinterpreted the fact that Puerto Rico had a parade and a plane?”

Yadier Molina: “Definitely. Obviously, Adam Jones is playing his role of team captain over there and talking things that he doesn’t know about. Honestly, he needs to instruct himself better because he shouldn’t have made those comments public like that and make fun of our ways the way he did. He needs to apologize to our people because, I don’t care, obviously we all wanted to win, but he didn’t know what this meant; being there, getting to that place, because our country… That’s why I’m sending him this message, telling him: Look at this! Right now you’re at spring training working and we’re here with our people, with our silver medal and you have a gold medal and you’re working and we’re here with our silver medal celebrating with the people of Puerto Rico. You don’t know what it’s like to celebrate like that.”

So anyway, we had our parade, welcomed our team with lots of noise and are feeling ridiculously proud of 2nd place. Here’s a video of the team’s arrival.

The Beauty of Blog Stats


I have to admit that one of the things I enjoy most about the blog is the stats. The nerd in me loves them! I get to see in what countries I’m being read. Honestly, coming from a tiny island in the Caribbean (Puerto Rico), being read in places like Georgia (not the state) and Azerbaijan seems completely surreal. Wow! I love the Internet! Obviously this would be tremendously difficult without the Internet, so kudos to the US Department of Defense and ARPANET and a whole lot of people for creating it.

Anyway, I thought I would share why I like it so much. To be honest, my nerdiness disappears when it comes to geography and world maps, so I actually learn from these stats. Here’s the map and the list of countries where people have read. I know the numbers are small, but I hardly ever post. Thank you to everyone who has read! The brain is still not silent.

NOTE ON THE MAP: Wherever there is color, someone has read.

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El temor de toda mujer que ustedes, los hombres, no acaban de entender


Los hombres muchas veces se molestan porque las mujeres a veces estamos a la defensiva con la tiraera y los piropos. No entienden por qué a veces o muchas veces nos sentimos incómodas con la atención que nos brindan. Pues les voy a explicar.

Para empezar, desde que nos convertimos en señoritas (y no necesariamente cuando te viene la regla, sino cuando ya empiezas a soñar con los príncipes azules que te metieron por la cabeza) nos comenzaron a vender una propaganda de miedo que funciona bien duro y que gracias a Dios lo hacen, porque a muchas nos ha mantenido a salvo. ¿Cuál es la propaganda? Simple: Los hombres violan. ¿Ok? Violan; y en particular, tienen preferencia por las mujeres. Para colmo, esto te lo parean con el eterno temor de preñarte sin querer y que te tilden de puta.

Ya sabiendo esto, más o menos a eso de los 15 o 16 empieza la tiraera por la calle: Hombres extraños que te gritan “arroz” desde los carros, troqueros que te suenan la bocina en medio del expreso que casi te dan un infarto solo para saludarte y hacer un gesto de que te ves linda. Sabes que te están lookiando la falda que se te sube cuando estás sentada en el carro y ellos desde su punto elevado tienen una vista espectacular ¡Sea la madre! Ahora lo nuevo son los “friend requests” extraños.

Entonces, llegas a universidad y ves como los hombres se aprovechan de las que se emborrachan. Que les tratan de meter “rufys” en los palos para que se dejen llevar y ni se acuerden. Te encuentras que el roommate de tu pana te empezó a sobar las piernas mientras dormías. WTF ¿Qué es esto?

Desarrollas un PTSD que se extrapola a TODOS los hombres a menos que te demuestren que puedes confiar en ellos. A TODOS. Entiéndanlo. Y aunque triste, ¡qué bueno!

Yo me salvé de una gracias a esta paranoia y les hago el cuento pq recientemente unos taxistas se pusieron a perseguir a una mujer que andaba sola y en ningún momento pensaron en la cagazón que pudieron haber causado. Puñeta, carajo… ¡eso no se hace!

Hace varios años atrás, salía de mis clases de ballet, en Santurce. El parking de la escuela era un poquito lejos, caminando por una calle, no muy transitada. Este tramo SIEMPRE se caminaba en ALERTA (por los temores antes mencionados). Pues una noche, saliendo del ballet y empezando a entrar en la calle del pánico, un carro con 2 hombres me pasó por el lado. Bajaron la velocidad y me empezaron a mirar. Me cagué obvio, aproveché que había una van estacionada para meterme detrás y parar de caminar a ver si lo seguían de largo. Durante este microsegundo tuve la oportunidad de dar gracias de que el vestuario de ballet no es fácil de remover. El carro, viró a la izquierda y se detuvo justo en la esquina. Mano el tipo se bajó del carro y como que me estaba buscando y yo estaba empezando a virar para volver a la escuela y pedirle a alguien que me acompañara. En eso aparecieron dos compañeras en su carro y me ofrecieron pon al parking. ¡Gracias! Me monté más rápido que volando. El tipo que se había bajado del carro se volvió a montar en el carro y se fueron. No jodan. Yo me salvé de esa. Y por esto es que siempre estamos en fucking paranoia. Ok. Ya. Breguen con eso.

La próxima vez que una mujer no esté tan receptiva, considera esto.

 

Why Standing Rock Matters Way More Than Anybody Thinks


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Photo from: Think Progress

Today I read an article about the North Dakota Pipeline and Standing Rock that pleaded to everyone for help. I’ve been thinking about Standing Rock for some time now and well, her plea reached me and I will do what I do best, write about stuff.

 

I think Standing Rock is way more than an environmental issue. I think people need to look at what is happening whilst remembering a very important detail: The United States of America stole the land from the Native Americans. I repeat, they stole it. There is no denying this. STOLEN.

And now it seems they’re doing it again. They’re imposing something on their sacred lands and their water source. Something that they are all adamantly against. And the government of North Dakota is using force to do this.

Is this not a colonial conquest? Using force to impose something on the original inhabitants of North America? Looks like conquest to me.

So, regardless of the water and the environment and whether this “affects us all”, this matter is important, simply because it is supremely unfair. It is Corporate America forcing itself on the people. North Dakota forcing itself on its residents. The United States of America cannot continue to have a colonialist attitude towards the Native Americans. It needs to stop having a colonialist attitude period. #NoDAPL

Here’s the article I mention. Good read! Remember This When You Talk About Standing Rock

 

Como se siente ver a Mónica Puig jugar por medalla olímpica para Puerto Rico


Yo me imagino que ya todos los Boricuas saben como se siente esta pendejá. Un rush cabrón de adrenalina mezclado con el corazón hinchado de patria y un poquito de sexy porque hay que admitir que la Mónica está linda. Entonces de repente te das cuenta que acaba de ganar al menos plata. Ya es medallista. Es como un episodio de Stranger Things pero mucho mejor porque es real. ¿Y mañana vamos por oro? No me puedo preocupar ahora por buscar el itinerario; todavía estoy bajando del high adrena/patriótico de su victoria. Me siento como si hubiésemos ganado el Grito de Lares. En serio.

Todo se vuelve aún más loco cuando te das cuenta que mañana (o cuando sea) puede ser un USA vs. PR. What? A que todos los Boricuas de repente se vuelven independentistas. No lo dudo. Pues así se siente esto de ver a Mónica Puig triunfar por Puerto Rico: como ser parte de una novela del gran Gabo. En vivo, desde Macondo, Puerto Rico.

Veremos como sigue esto mañana…

Placement Is Everything In a Bookstore


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Cover illustration by Laura Diehl

Today I went to a local bookstore where they have copies of my book: The Bookmark. The idea was to stake it out, see where the books were placed and if people were looking at it. Well, at first I couldn’t find it at all as it was placed on a bottom shelf (not the best place for your book as you might suspect). To make matters worse, the 4 copies were facing sideways and you couldn’t see the beautiful cover. Well, I grabbed a copy and flipped it, placing it so the cover faced forward. Not 5 minutes passed and a little girl was holding my book. My kids’ grandmother was there (ex mother-in-law) and she’s the best salesperson ever. She quickly mentions to the girl that I’m the author and I can sign her book if she chooses to buy it. Of course it sold! Boom. So I grabbed another copy and placed it facing forward again so the cover showed. Another person grabbed the book! I had to leave at that point, but I passed again after I finished my back-to-school shopping and there were only 2 books left of the original 4. So, conclusion: Get an awesome cover and make sure it faces front. Especially with kid lit!

Good day to all! Now go and check your book’s placement at the shop.

Giant Spider – Deleted Scene From Pixie Piper: Vol. 1


Pixie woke up wishing she had died. Her whole body was covered in bruises from the fall and everything ached so much she wondered if she could move at all, even if she wasn’t securely fastened to a gigantic spider web in the middle of a horribly cold dungeon. There were familiar voices in the distance. She was sure one of them was Garm’s. There was no way she would ever forget his dreadful voice. Not after all the nasty things he said. The other sounded female, so she guessed it was Hela’s.

“We underestimated those little brats,” Garm said angrily. “Or perhaps it was your cage that was defective, mother.”

“Impossible! That ice is unbreakable. I’m telling you those two have some kind of powerful magic. How else could they melt both statue and cage?”

“Don’t be so full of it, old woman. Your magic is not the most powerful of Dahna,” he said.

“Neither is yours.”

“We’ll see about that soon enough. But for now, we must find another way to get to Delmes.”

“We could torture the brat,” Hela suggested. “Children never sacrifice themselves for their parents. They’re too afraid of pain.”

“Why mother, that’s a wonderful idea! Summon Hecate. She’ll take care of this in no time,” Garm ordered.

Pixie heard the sound of big heavy feet leaving the room far away behind her. It was probably a snowman fetching Hecate. She could only guess that would be her torturer. That meant she had no time to lose. She had to find a way to escape, but her arms were held fast to the web and whenever she moved it, it only seemed to tighten its grip. Soon all but her face was wrapped in the silky fabric and she couldn’t move at all. Desperate, she looked about the room in search of someone or something, maybe another prisoner that could help her or perhaps Meni. Where was Meni? Did he manage to get away?   Was he frozen in a corner somewhere? She suddenly felt terribly alone. What would happen to her parents? They would probably get killed all because of her. And Meni and his family, they had nothing to do with this, yet they would pay the prize. Once Garm was king he would probably seek them out and have them arrested. Perhaps it was best if she just gave up. They would never be able to torture her into giving her mom away if she was dead. And they wouldn’t have anything to bargain with. In her opinion, it was the only way out. But alas, the web was so tight around her she could do nothing. Only close her eyes and sleep. Which, surprisingly enough, she did. After all, she hadn’t slept a wink and her adventure was proving quite tiring.

When she woke it was because of the sound of feet. Several of them, and they were moving down a tunnel in her direction. She raised her head and opened her eyes just in time to see a humongous black spider appear from the right. The thorax alone was about three times Pixie’s size. She could swallow her whole. Pixie bit her lip to stop herself from screaming.

“A heather pixie!” Hecate roared. “And a child at that! I haven’t had a decent meal in months and this is what they send me? The only thing worse would have been a human!”

Frightened as she was, Pixie could see an opportunity when it arose. “I’m half-human,” she informed the spider trying to hide the grin that was starting to form on her lips.

“Is that so?” replied Hecate, her voice sounded calmer, yet still quite sinister. “Nice try young one. It shows you got a good head on your shoulders. But I’m afraid I don’t believe you.”

“I am, I swear. My father is one hundred percent human. I don’t even live in Dahna. I’m here on… on vacation.”

“If you are truly half human, then you shall give me a drop of your blood. It is the only way I can be certain,” the giant spider said.

“What for? If you’re gonna eat me, I’d rather you do it quickly.”

“My dear child, with all due respect, I may be quite hungry, but I will never stoop so low as to eat human. You’re the stupidest animals in all the earth. Drinking your blood would render me terrifyingly ignorant. I would like a taste, so I can make sure you are not lying. Once when I was still a young spiderling I lived in an old house with some humans. They tried to kill me so I had to strike. Poor chap tasted so badly I nearly spilled my insides. It was the first and last time I ever had human, but I’ll never forget the taste.”

Pixie didn’t know what to believe. Hecate seemed dishonest. She had a way of slithering the words so as to sound like a snake hissing. It made Pixie very uncomfortable. Then again she had nothing to lose. If this was a way to avoid getting eaten it was worth a try. “Very well,” she finally replied, “but just one drop.”

“One is all I need.”

With two of her front legs Hecate freed Pixie’s hands, leaving the rest of her body securely fastened to the orb-like web. Then she gave Pixie a small piece of broken glass.

“You will have to cut yourself,” Hecate informed. “If I bite you, you’ll be paralyzed and won’t be able to move for hours.”

Pixie stared at the glass. She could use it to cut herself free. But what good would that do? The spider would certainly catch her. She would have to try her luck. Closing her eyes, she pressed the tip firmly into her index finger. There was a bit of a burning sensation and a large drop of bright red blood emerged from the cut. Pixie held out her finger for Hecate to taste. The giant spider placed her tube-like mouth over her prey’s finger and sucked the blood right off it. She cringed and made an ugly face.

“Ugh! You are definitely human,” said the spider as she dropped Pixie’s finger with disgust. “Perhaps it’s time I went out hunting. There has to be something up there better than you.”

“Oh yes,” Pixie began. “I saw some really big abominable snowmen and a pool full of penguins in the castle. Those would certainly fill you up nicely.”

“Snowmen? The hairy ones or the snowy ones?”

“The hairy ones, with the big horns on their heads,” Pixie replied.

“You lie. Garm told me they have gone extinct.”

“Hey, I didn’t lie about being half human, did I?”

Hecate was silent for a moment, scratching her head with one of her legs. “I believe you are telling the truth,” she finally informed. “But just to make sure, I will go seek proof. After I come back I will decide what to do with you. In the mean time, I suggest you stay perfectly still. You see, I build a special web around my victims; the more they struggle, the tighter it wraps around their bodies. So if you move too much, you might end up being crushed to death by the silk.”

Apparently Pixie’s horror showed on her face because Hecate raised a leg to her mouth and said: “Oh dear, perhaps it was best if I had bitten you. Too late now, I don’t want another taste of YOU.” And she disappeared through one of the tunnels.

The moment she was gone, Pixie let out a wide, cheerful smile. Silly spider had forgotten to take back the piece of glass!   Trying to move as little as possible she attempted to cut the threads of silk, but the web was covered in a sticky substance that adhered to the glass and she ended up hacking away at the cocoon. The harder she sliced the tighter the sheet wrapped around her body. Finally, it was becoming difficult to breathe. She stopped moving all together, fearing even her next breath. Large drops of sweat began to glide down her brow. They seeped between her eyelashes, stinging her eyes. She had to find a way to get loose before Hecate came back.

Her lungs began to burn as her ribs pressed hard against them. There was hardly any room for air. She tried to breathe, but instead an all too familiar wheezing echoed through the icy walls.

“No,” she thought desperately. “I can’t have an attack now. I can’t even move!”

Pixie closed her eyes, trying not to think of her asthma. She knew panic only made it worse. But when you close your eyes, everything else becomes more intense. She realized she could hardly feel her feet. And the gooey, sticky substance of the web was freezing against her already wet skin. No wonder she was having an attack.

Suddenly, her breaths became faster and shorter and the wheezing louder until there was no way to prevent the panic. It was happening and there was nothing she could do. She was gasping for air now, but between the web’s ever tightening threads and her incapacitated lungs there was no hope.

She began to drift in and out of consciousness. She saw her mother napping on the couch back home. She looked so peaceful, without a care in the world. Pixie had never seen her so relaxed. Then everything became dark and cold and she was back in the cave, except Garm was there, and Mrs. Piper, and Hela. Her mother wore a long white veil made of spider webs. It trailed behind her, collecting dust and insects and everything in her path. She walked towards Garm with tears flowing freely down her face. Hela walked before her, spreading snow across her feet and all the way to the altar where her son stood waiting for his bride. Pixie tried to scream, but there was no air left in her.

“NO!” she whispered. “No, no, no… I won’t let this happen.”

6 Reasons Why Pokemon Go Rocks


People are hating like crazy about Pokemon Go. I don’t really understand why everyone is so upset about a simple game. For those of you who are, let me explain why Pokemon Go rocks, and if you don’t understand that, you just don’t get it.

It all started a long time ago with a cartoon that launched with a card game. The whole concept of the show Pokemon was about a group of friends who traveled the world finding and catching Pokemon (pocket monsters). Long story short, the show and card game were a hit and eventually the video games followed. The bulk of the games were in the Nintendo DS platform. The games echoed the show by creating a world that you explored to find Pokemon. There you would join gyms, train, compete and advance. There were even special Pokemon that would come out on special days in particular places. Like if you went to Toys R’ Us or McDonald’s on a particular day and hour, you could download a monster for free and have it in your game. Suffice it to say, people loved this! Collectors still abound.

But the game was pretty much a sitting game. The Pokemon creators have always wanted to counteract this and have been pretty ingenious at it too. Before Pokemon Go, some games came with step counters that you connected to the games to get more stuff and others had them in the DS and if you walked around with it, you would gather coins. But again, it was very limited…

Lo and behold: Pokemon Go

In my opinion the game is genius! Now you actually go and catch the Pokemon in the real world and not the fake one of the DS. The games are the same, with gyms, teams, training and such. The integration of reality and gaming is done with the right purpose. Here’s a list of pluses for you short and simple, so I don’t bore you. (There may be a few cons, but those are usually when the people playing don’t have much common sense.)

  1. 13729124_10154490138127275_479978947022411561_n

    My son wearing a Tentacool for a hat. 

    It gets you walking. You can’t really catch anything while driving (it’s too fast) so you have to be on foot.

  2. Pokestops are in the real world. You have to get out of your house, off your ass, and out in the world in order to advance in the game.
  3. Pokestops include street art, restaurants, museums, and sights worth seeing. (Encourages cultural awareness and travel)
  4. You have to walk to hatch your eggs. Yes, even if it’s back and forth in your own living room, in order to hatch the egg, you gotta walk. So the game makes you exercise!!! (Back to point 1)
  5. Augmented reality fun! Yeah, you get to take pics with the Pokemon on your head and stuff.
  6. It creates a strange #PokemonBond among users.

So bravo to Niantic, The Pokemon Company, and John Hanke for a great concept. BTW (although the play is buggy, I play in my 4s which according to Niantic is not supported, so there.)