Vh1’s Anti-bullying Campaign Epic Fail


Well I just saw this little campaign from VH1 and couldn’t help but rant about it. It is the worst anti-bullying campaign I’ve ever seen in my life and here are the reasons why.

  1. It presents bullying scenes in a mocking manner playing on the sick sense of humor humans have that precisely triggers bullying.
  2. It stimulates vengeance giving the victims of bullying the idea that somehow in the far off future they will be able to serve a very cold plate of vengeance. Come on!
  3. It attempts to stop bullying via more bullying, because the future bosses will bully the present bullies in their future jobs. Oh what great values those are!
  4. It justifies crappy bosses somehow.
  5. It gives more bullying ideas to the bullies.
  6. The reason not to bully is because it’s wrong. It’s wrong to think other people’s suffering is funny. It’s wrong to think you’re cool because you made someone else cry. That message is nowhere in this video.

It’s simply wrong and those creatives could’ve come up with 10 better, more effective campaigns than this. Shame on them! Shame on VH1 for approving it!

Here’s the link to the video https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=274739476041089&set=vb.182521798596191&type=2&theater

Blogging Responsibly (The Chinese Ugly Divorce)


I have to admit I love blogging. It allows for practically anyone to become a “writer”, “reporter”, or “comedian”. But in this day and age of instant information, the reblog button should be taken seriously. People please do some research before you share that story or choose to reblog, re-report, etc. I even see this in actual newspapers. They seem to be in a rush over who publishes the story first and many times they end up publishing a correcting article afterwards because the original report was incomplete or mistaken. People check your sources!

Recently an old news from a year ago began resurfacing. Some Chinese dude had

The alleged family

The alleged family

apparently sued his wife (and won) for being ugly and hiding it. I see this link today on my facebook feed: http://www.chicagonow.com/dad-all-day/2013/11/man-sues-wife-over-ugly-kids-and-wins/ with the picture on the right. Allegedly that dude sued that girl for having those ugly kids. Actually, according to the original story only the ugly little girl mattered. However, the original story is over a year old. Here’s the link: http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/chinese-man-sues-wife-after-ugly-baby-born-212463.html

It seems the ugly children were the result of mamma’s genes whose appearance had been altered by $100,00o dollars worth of surgery with the following results:

Before and after

Before and after.                                         

I think it’s clear the woman in this picture is not the same woman in the picture above. The before and after may be the same girl. Both of them do have the same hairline. Of course, it could be photoshopped. I’ll let this one up to doubt.

The above family picture, however, apparently was an ad for plastic surgery. At least, that’s what this site says: http://en.rocketnews24.com/2012/05/17/thinking-about-plastic-surgery-this-ad-may-make-you-laugh-or-it-could-make-you-think-twice/

Curiously enough, the message is similar. According to the site, the words written on the wall say: “The only thing you have to worry you about after plastic surgery is the explaining you’ll have to do to your children.”

Apparently Mrs. Feng had to explain to her children AND her husband. That’s what happens when you aim for the trophy wife and not the real woman.

A Modern Fairytale…


Once upon a time, in a not so far away land, there lived a beautiful, smart and talented princess. She was a happy lady. Her sole responsibilities were taking care of herself, her home, and her children. In return for her efforts, the men in her life would provide for her everything she could ever need. Needless to say, this princess was quite happy and always looked her best.

Unfortunately, unbeknownst to the princess, the day she was born, she was cursed by an evil, envious sorceress who’s fortune was not as lucky as the rest. Feminis Mortar (The sorceress) was also smart, beautiful and talented, but sadly the men in her life were not kind to her and bereft of children, she resented not being able to go out into the world and do the things the men did. The poor woman was bored, so she cursed every living female with the curse of SUPERWOMAN. From that day forth, all women born in the land would be overcome by ambition and the desire to do it all. Division of labour was a joke.

Aren't we all?
From a friend's facebook...

Such a curse, might not have been so bad, if it would have been coupled with a similar curse on the men, but alas, the men were not cursed. They were quite comfortable in their provider roles and did not see the need to assume any further responsibilities.

Time went by, and as the princess grew up the curse began to act up. Suddenly she was not happy staying at home and looking after herself and her children. She needed to feel that she was capable of DOING IT ALL.  So she went off and got herself a job. Oh! At first, she was exhilarated, particularly when she got a piece of paper with large numbers on it. The bank account grew…

As the months passed the 9 to 5 routine began to take its toll. The princess was suddenly tired. She would get home late from work to do groceries, cook and then tend to her children who were now getting out of hand and quite needy of attention. Her husband, happy with having money left over for golfing, was not feeling the elevated levels of female stress. In fact, he didn’t really notice, until one day he got home and found a mess in the living room, children sleeping unbathed, and wifey sprawled in the couch dead asleep. He went to bed that night quite grumpy as he hadn’t had sex in over a week. (Oh! The horror!)

The next day, the husband told the wife he was not happy. Of course, our princess was a smart, talented woman, so she used her growing bank account to hire a maid and nanny. She found temporary happiness again… Her ego grew disproportionately. She felt almost like a man, bringing home the money without having the added home responsibilities. It all seemed to flow rather well, until one day, she got home and found a gothic teen ager son with black nails and lips, and a mini-skirt cladded 12-year-old daughter, wearing red-hot lipstick and looking like a bad, kiddy version of Lady Gaga (no offense to her, I actually like her). That night, she asked her husband: “What happened to our children?” To which he casually replied: “Ask the nanny.”

Abhorred, the princess questioned the nanny extensively, but all the nanny could say was: “It’s what they want.” So on it went and the princess now depressed, began to get fat (since she no longer had time to care for herself). Her job became her only source of satisfaction so she stayed longer and longer everyday. On the surface, all appeared ok, however one day, she decided to take a break and headed home early. Thinking she would have a lovely family afternoon, what she found was her husband in bed with her maid/nanny! She was furious and stormed out going straight to the divorce lawyer. Her smarts proved well and she made the best of the nasty situation. Now she was a single mom… In the dark reaces of the kingdom, the evil sorceress laughed really, really loud!

The princess now realized she could indeed DO IT ALL! She had become SUPERWOMAN as she so desperately desired. Everyone told her what a great job she did. Yet, every night, as she lay down to bed, the princess prayed in silence. She prayed for a handsome prince to come rescue her from the curse of superwoman. She wished for a man to come and take over half her responsibilities for she realized that as she COULD do it all, she could NOT DO IT WELL. And so she waited in her superwoman tower for the prince who is yet to come, trying to live happily ever after with her cape and her wonder shoes…

THE END

The 5 Things Women Need to Make Men Happy


So as not to leave the men out regarding the previous post. Here it is:

1. TITS OR ASS. A given. The truth is we have to have at least one of these. Bony actually is NOT attractive. If you have both, you get extra points (and leverage).

2. YES MODE BUTTON. When activated, the yes mode allows for the female to say “yes” to every single proposition provided by the male, including golfing, night out with the guys, sex, house projects with no end dates, visits from the in-laws and everything with ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS. “No” and all its synonyms are simply deleted from the female brain.

3. MUTE BUTTON. Ah! Every man’s dream. The mute button allows you to temporarily mute the volume in your girl. Oblivious to her, who continues blabbing on without being aware of her muteness.

4. AUTOMATIC NAG CENSORSHIP.  Yes. This feature delivers a tiny, yet painful electric shock whenever a nagging thought enters the brain, therefore preventing it from being spoken out loud. No long-term relationship can survive without it!

5. PORN STAR CREATIVITY. Duh! As if you didn’t know. Men want to have sex as much as possible. Lack of sexual appetite just won’t do. And just laying there won’t cut it either so watch your porn and learn.

The 5 Things Men Need to Make Women Happy


I know what you’re going to say: nobody can make you happy. Well, yes, true, but it’s also true that you won’t be happy with the wrong person so blah. This one’s for the boys…

1. MIND READING ABILITIES. Yes. Unfortunately women don’t like to ask for things or tell it straight, so telepathy is a must. Along with this one should be included reading between the lines and breath interpretation. God forbid you misinterpret that sigh!

2. EYES IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD. If it’s not obvious, then it should be. Men need to be “on the ready” and constantly alert to all kinds of “signals” provided by both their partners and the universe. Pay attention! We don’t want to have to draw you a map.

3. SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH. Of course! You are to be capable of rescuing us from any kind of danger, both real or imagined as well as fix any issue with the house, no matter how difficult. If you do not possess this strength then at least make up for it with industrial savvy.

4. HOPELESS ROMANTICISM. Flowers, details and sweet words. If you’re not sure what to do, then please employ the eyes in the back of your head and the mind reading abilities. Thank you!

5. PORN STAR CREATIVITY. Last,but certainly not least. I cannot stress enough the need to use all previous qualities in the bedroom. You will need to read minds, receive signals, fly like superman and say sweet things, all while performing like a stallion with brand-new weekly moves.

Please make sure you possess all 5 qualities before approaching the female sex. Thank you!

 

Say the Beautiful Things!


Yesterday a good friend had a surfing accident and lost consciousness. He is actually in one of the pictures of my surf photo expedition post. Today he has woken up, but the message to all those who know him is clear: life is fragile and unpredictable. It could end at any moment, without warning or a chance to escape. A loved one could die right now, or maybe you… maybe me. Nobody really knows. When it happens, we usually regret not having said “I love you” more often, or not spending enough time together, etc. The list of regrets can pile up.

(Note: Picture from the net. Not mine.)

So why don’t we say the good things more often? I reckon, most people would rather criticize than praise. Why? Doesn’t it feel nice when someone says: “good job,” “I care,” “I’m here?” But we forget; we forget to say the beautiful things. We think: hey, I’ll share it tomorrow. But tomorrow may be too late. The only time is now. Speak now, with passion and sincerity. There will never be a wrong moment to say something nice and every second is an opportunity to brighten up someone’s day. Don’t waste it. Don’t wait until Valentine’s Day to express affection. Do it now.  Do it every day. Say the beautiful things without hesitation, for they bring smiles to all who hear.

Vouching for Old School Chivalry


Call me old-fashioned, but I like it when a man opens a door for me; when they pull out my chair at a restaurant and when they lend me their jacket to keep me from being cold. It’s those tiny little details that help distinguish between class and crap. And when I say “class” I don’t mean as a social, economic distinction, but rather as a moral one.

Unfortunately, chivalry or “caballerismo” as we call it in spanish, became associated with men and male chauvinism. Some seriously disturbed feminist decided that chivalry was somehow an indirect way of calling women weak and incapable and vouched against it. The protest was a hit and the result was that men have stopped being nice. Now, I don’t understand why opening a car door or front door for a lady is in any way calling her weak. Nobody actually believes she is incapable of opening the door herself. The purpose of such gesture is not to insult, but rather to demonstrate that this a man who cares about your well-being and will try to make you as comfortable as possible. How can that be insulting?I repeat, it must have been a seriously disturbed feminist.

Now to the bill. Modern women for some absent-minded reason don’t like having men pay for the bill. “I can pay for it myself!” they protest. Ha! We know! Let him pay damn it! Don’t ruin it for the rest of us! He wants to pay. It makes him feel accomplished. He shows you he can stand on his own two feet and should the need arise, can hold you up too. Trust me, at the end of the night, you want a man who can afford to pay the bill. It’s not about being “maintained” or “kept.” It’s about showing he is capable. After all, you don’t want to have to “keep” him, do you? And just because he pays, it doesn’t mean you need to put out. As if…

Of course, I’m a modern woman myself and I don’t think men should pay for EVERYTHING all the time. If you get a midnight craving for ice cream and he’s just coming along for the ride, you should pay for it yourself, but that’s when the delicate balance between two people forms and each couple is different. Hey, whatever works, works! Just remember one word: reciprocity. Role division is not about gender, it’s about equilibrium.

IT’S NOT JUST FOR MEN.

Nope. It’s not. Chivalry is about grabbing the opportunity to provide a service. That means, a lady opens a door for an older man or woman. Or we hold open a door we had already opened for ourselves. Heck, it’s not even chivalrous; it’s common courtesy. And perhaps they are one and the same. It’s rude to let a door slam in somebody else’s face. And it’s nice to open a door and let the old lady behind you step in first. It’s not necessary, it’s just really nice. And nice makes a good impression, and in the long run, nice opens doors for you. Call it karma if you will. In my book, karma is long-term cause and effect (possible future blog subject).

So be nice, be chivalrous, be courteous, and by all means, let others be chivalrous towards you. Life is just better that way; really! Thumbs up for old school chivalry. Keep it up!

“No Quiero Nada Serio”


Este cuento ya lo he escuchado demasiadas veces. Inclusive yo he sido partícipe de la vigente costumbre de la sociedad soltera puertorriqueña: la actitud de “no quiero nada serio.” Es lo que escucho de todas mis amistades solteras. Parece haber una gran fobia colectiva a lo que se conoce como una “relación.”

¿Y quién los puede culpar? Si cuando miras a tu alrededor lo que recibes es un bombardeo de quejas sobre el matrimonio y las relaciones; estadísticas horroríficas sobre el divorcio, cuernos, maltrato, etc. Sentimos una necesidad de ser “libres” y por ende tememos todo aquello que represente un “límite” a dicha libertad. Supongo que el temor es válido.

Sin embargo, a mi me da mucha gracia cuando escucho a alguien decir estas palabras. Por lo general “del dicho al hecho hay un largo trecho” y en este caso es cuando más evidente es. Deberían cambiarlo a “no quiero nada duradero” por que lo que yo observo son un chorro de realciones cortas, pero muy serias. Ya lo he visto muchas veces, e inclusive he sido partícipe de la relación que “no es seria.” Esta relación nueva y muy común entre los puertorriqueños se caracteriza por los siguientes rasgos (al menos 5 de estos), presentes durante un periodo de 3 a 4 meses:

  • Declaración de “no es nada serio.” (Este es el único criterio que TIENE que estar presente.)
  • Se comunican al menos 5 veces a la semana
  • Practican PDA’s (Public Displays of Affection)
  • Muestras evidentes de actitud “fresa”
  • Chateo frecuente por facebook
  • Sexo fuera de orden semanal o más.
  • Se invitan a actividades con fechas futuras como por ejemplo una “fiesta de navidad” o un “cumpleaños” de un pana.
  • Se han confesado estupideces
  • Frecuentan juntos a lugares públicos con regularidad
  • Conocen a tod@s sus panas
  • Janguea con tus hij@s (si existen)
  • Tienen sexo sin condón

Yo no se uds. pero a mi eso me suena serio. Entonces estas personas que se encuentran en estas relaciones despiertan como de un gran sueño de NEGACION a eso de los 3  o 4 meses. Cuando se dan cuenta que tienen novi@ ahí entran en un “estado de pánico” bastante intenso y le someten a la técnica conocida como “pitcheo” o “pitchaera.”

Esta técnica consiste en una reducción drástica, o inclusive completa, en la comunciación. Las llamadas, textos y chateos no son correspondidos o se corresponden luego de 3 o 4 días. Las invitaciones son rechazadas con excusas baratas como: “estoy consad@,” “tengo mucho trabajo,” o algo por el estilo.

En este punto ocurre 1 de 3 cosas:

  1. La “pitchaera” evoca una reacción “psycho” en la otra parte que aniquila por completo cualquier posiblilidad de continuidad. Entre las características de comportamiento “psycho” se pueden observar las siguientes: a. Múltiples textos corridos sin ser correspondidos. b. Incremencia en frecuencia y desdesperación de los intentos de comunicación. c. Frases auto-denigrantes o cuentos de accidentes para llamar la atención y evocar una reacción del “pitcher.” d. Visitas “sorpresa.” e. Llamadas a todas horas que aumentan durante horas de la madrugada y con los niveles de alcohol.            f. Actos de desesperación que pueden incluir: gritos, tiradera de material rompible y muchas veces de valor sentimental, escaladas a residencias, espionaje y comportamiento de “stalking,” entre otros.
  2. La “pithcaera” es correspondida y ambas partes se alejan silenciosamente.
  3. La “pithcaera” es ignorada tranquilamente hasta que la otra parte vuelve por voluntad propia y se reanuda la relación. Esta es probable que termine en algo “serio” o mejor dicho “duradero” por que como podemos ver, ya la cosa se estaba poniendo seria “anyway.”

Entonces… ¿Existe tal cosa como una relación “no seria”?  Yo digo que si. Es lo que todos conocemos por un “fuck buddy,” pero me temo que aquí la gente también ha estado confundiendo el término. Aclarémoslo. El/la “fuck buddy” es lo que en Español se denomina  “amante.” No puede, bajo ninguna circunstancia, confundirse con la relación mencionada arriba. El “amante” se adhiere a las siguientes reglas:

  1. La comunicación entre las partes es principalmente para la planificación de encuentros sexuales.
  2. No se exhibe, bajo ninguna circunstancia, PDA’s.
  3. Los encuentros son esporádicos.
  4. Se entiende la posibilidad de encontrarse con la otra parte en una cita con otra persona, en cuyo caso no se permiten celos, ni caras feas, ni quejas.
  5. El arreglo concluye cuando la otra parte se enjeva.
  6. El arreglo se puede retomar cuando la otra parte se deja del jev@.
  7. SIEMPRE se utiliza protección.
  8. Mientras menos lo sepan, mejor.

Espero esto aclare las cosas… Y le recomiendo a todos los que “no quieren nada serio” que se abstengan del comentario, por que por lo general evocan reacciones desagradables y exactamente el opuesto a lo deseado. GRACIAS!